Robert's Tale

Readings: Psalm 23, 1 Samuel 16:1-13,  Ephesians 5:8-14, John 4:5-26
Preached at First Presbyterian Church, Baldwin, NY on March 30th 2014

A printable PDF file can be found here

One of the delightful things about Scottish culture, and indeed Celtic theology in general, is the love of story-telling. In our bible passage today one translation describes the man’s problem as 'Being of blindness', which I noticed gives us the initials B.O.B; which of course spells Bob, a shortened version of the very Scottish name Robert.

As today is Tartan Sunday, I have attempted to spin a wee tale from out of our gospel reading, you can call it 'Robert's tale'... or if you like even refer to it by the initials 'B.O.B' which stand both for 'Being of blindness' and 'Born Occularily Benighted'.

So... are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. Roberts Tale A.K.A. -  B.O.B.

“I was given the name Robert at birth.
But these days it's just 'BOB'.

Used to be ‘Blind Bob’.
Now it’s just ‘Bob’ because... I’m not blind any more.

Being called Blind Bob, you learn to see with things other than Roberts’ eyes.
You see through sounds
            and smells
            and touch
            and taste.

Blind Bob learned to sense peoples emotions,
To know without being told.

‘Blind Bob’ was often treated as ‘Stupid Bob’.
Because I was non-functioning in the ocular area,
The presumption was made that Blind Bob
Was also ‘Dumb Bob’ and ‘Deaf Bob’.

‘Would Bob like this?’
‘Is Robert all right sitting there?’.
‘Does he take cream in his coffee?’.

‘Blind Bob’ learned that it was best to play the game of ‘Deaf and Dumb Bob’.
Blind Bob saw a lot going on that others missed.

Jesus came to town.
Could sense in His touch that He was different.
He put clay on my eyes.
Vision! Wow... So that’s what colors are!
Sent me to Siloam pool.
Good-Bye ‘Blind Bob’.
Hello just ‘Bob’.

Now here comes trouble.
Those religious folk didn’t care much for Bob.
They didn’t care much for Jesus either.
Particularly as it was the Sabbath Day when He told me;
“Here’s mud in your eye”.

So they call me in for a conference.
“What did that Jesus do to make you see?”
Bob explained about the mud on his eyes and the pool washing.
They are mad.
    Some say this.
    Some say that.
Bob senses these folk are having a hard time with themselves.

Asked me what I thought of Jesus.
‘He’s a prophet’ said Bold Bob.
They threw me out and sent for my mother and my father.

Oh the questions they asked;‘Was he really born blind?’
‘Are you making all of this up?”
‘How can he see?’
‘Are you sure he is really your son?’

They answered; ‘Of course he is our son and of course he was born blind!
Why can he see? Well you ask him,
He’s of age. He’s got a tongue in his head.'

They call me back in for another consultation.
‘Praise God’ they say.
‘Right on’ thinks Bountifully Blessed Bob.
‘No more stories Robert’ said the getting madder religious folk.
‘We know that this Jesus is a sinner,
  Just tell us what really happened’

Insightful Bob sees it all.
These religious folk were blinder than Bob born blind had ever been.
Couldn’t see a good thing staring them in the face.
Bob decides to play their game.

‘I don’t know if he is or he is not a sinner, good sirs,
All I know is this. I was ‘Blind Bob’ and now I’m just  ‘Bob’.

Some of them started getting really, really, really angry.
Playful Bob started to chuckle deep down in his heart.

“Bu-Bu-But what did he do-do-do,
Hu-Hu how did he oh-oh-open your eye-eye-eyes?”
Splutters one of them important folk.

‘Oh I see it now’ I say,
'You fine fellows want to be His disciples as well, do you?'

“No, No, No, No, No,
You’re the disciple,
We don’t even know where this man’s coming from?”

 Bob looks at them posturing, pontificating, puffed up, pathetic, peacocks.

'Now here’s a strange thing.
A man going round,
Doing stuff that has never been done since the foundation of the world,
And you, the religious folk, who know all about God,
You Don’t know where He’s coming from?
Bob finds that rather strange!'

Pandemonium.
“You, you, you... sinner,
Conceived in iniquity, scum of the earth,
How dare you lecture us, Get out of here...”

So I left them to it.

Further down the road,
Bemused Bob meets Jesus again.
‘Threw you out did they?’
‘Aye, they did’ smiled Relieved Bob.

“Do you believe in the Son of Man?” asked Jesus.
“Point Him out to me, and I will” says Hopeful Bob.
“Don’t you recognize my voice?” said that Good Shepherd.
‘Master’ said Believing Bob.

‘I’m here’ said Jesus, ‘To make things clear;
Some of those who have never seen,
Are going to see it all,
Some of those who pretend to have great insight,
Are going to be seen for what they really are.’

Some Pharisees heard
With their ears.
Just like some who will never see Bob’s point,
They said to themselves,
“You’re not calling us blind are you?”

Bob mused on these on these things.
“If you’re born physically blind,
You learn to see things differently,
How sad to have all your faculties functioning fine,
But never see a thing.”

And to God's name be all glory.
Amen.

The Reverend Adrian J. Pratt B.D.